We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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