I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
