i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
