So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
