i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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