Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
