This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My life is pants optional.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize