All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
