You're so nebulous sometimes
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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