i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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