I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
