Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
