I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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