I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
