Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
