I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
