Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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