I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
