i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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