And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
