I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
