It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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