Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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