you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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