Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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