like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
