she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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