this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize