Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
