and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
