If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You can't motorboat a personality
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
