went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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