i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
