i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
