I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
