He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
