He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We just shotgunned beers for America
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
