so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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