Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
