she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize