At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
