I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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