if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
