they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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