so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
