We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
