He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
