I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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