you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
