DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
