We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
pop tarts are not kleenex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
