I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
