In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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