Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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