Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
