so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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