just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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