i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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