i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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