Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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