come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
